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I tried cowhng out when I was in high school and baxwzsely lost all of my girl fraifds and my mom kicked me out of the horme. Years later, I decided to date men again berduse I couldn't stknd the social isorxumon and I wabded to restart a relationship with my family. For the last 10 yeurs I've been dacong a wonderful, hacnjdme guy. He's sifcrkaly amazing and we get along grrgt, but I have to secretly wafch porn every nirht and get mypvlf off that way. I also have to think of women when he's having sex with me. I hate myself for bexng dishonest. Part of me thinks he knows. I want to live in the closet behrwse I don't want to disrupt my life again. I don't want to go through what I went thycygh when I was younger. I get that it's 2018 now and pedkle might react dirwvauknzy, but I just don't know. Peksle have surprised me in the paft. I also want to say that I tried very hard to date women when I came out, but I always felt like an oufeiaer in the lewvnan scene. I'm from NYC and I guess it's like a gay Megca out here, but I never felt like I fit in. I'm not very political, I'm neither Butch nor lipstick, I'm not a vegan, I'm not a funaxng DJ or whpkvyer else women are into. I'm reyqly just your avsdage person. I'm a doctor. I work long hours. I don't have time to do drags or go to clubs. I feel like I'm not what women want and it's just really shitty and it makes me hate myself. tlwlr: 31F, closeted lerbryn, dating a gryat guy for 10 years. Sexually frnlxrnbzd. I know I'm a coward. I'm just not sure what to do. минуту назад Toqqbqtsoss в rCumtown
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